No More Skinny Jeans.

Gentlemen, stop wearing the skinny jeans. Seriously! Please stop. This new “trend” not only looks ridiculous, but slaps the face of those who wore them for a reason back in the day. I’m talking to you Jonas Brothers. You are not the Ramones! They weren’t setting a trend. They were championing minimalism and pioneering the punk-rock movement, to be loyally carried out by Iggy Pop, Nick Rave and the like. And unless Kanye West is preparing to go from Hip-Hop to Emo, he should take heed to Jay-Z’s “D.O.A.” lyrics when he spouts, “You boys jeans too tight/You colors too bright/Your voice too light.”

Here’s the odd thing about it, taking into account the unsettling trend of oversized jeans taking over in the 90s, jeans were never meant to be trendy. They were a created as a utility clothing to keep your regular clothes from getting dirty while working, thus all the pockets and loops. In the 50s they became a symbol of non-conformity (the exact opposite of “trends”) and usually were worn by bikers or angry teenagers. Fast-forward, and now we have all kinds of trendy denim to choose from, like it or not. Straight fit, Baggy, Carpenter, Boot-cut, Premium Denim, the list goes on.

So, though it’s my opinion – and a popular one, I have to ask what in the world is so enticing about skinny jeans? I’m talking to you Zac Efron! They look incredibly uncomfortable; they’re way too tight to be functional - pockets wise; and heaven forbid you decide to eat like a man – what happens then? Yet, sales of these jeans are on the rise, slowly but surely. According to the Wall Street Journal, True Religion’s skinny jeans make up 15% of sales in the first quarter of 2009, up four percent from last year. Rock and Republic reports that sales of its skinny jeans are up 26% from last year. And to accommodate men with less-than-forgiving bodies, Levis Strauss and 7 For All Mankind have made adjustments to the thighs and crotch areas of their jeans.

Wearing clothes that fit is one thing. If your clothes are too big, you run the risk of looking as if you raided your Dad’s closet. But to my knowledge, it’s never been a praised concept to wear clothing that risks cutting off blood-circulation. So, yeah, I’m talking to you wearers of skinny jeans! Walk into Lucky Brand, or Abercrombie, or dare I say it, Wal-Mart – and grab a pair of jeans that fit the way they should, without giving you a tight squeeze.